I hate posting mean spirited things, but this past month and a half of supposed birth mother interviews has been a horrible circle of lies. They go, they don't want to go, they might get kidnapped, they don't have correct copy of ID, they don't have original ID, birthmother is far away, birthmother goes back home, birth mother still in town, one attorney, another attorney, need money to get BM, need money to fix ID -
I can keep going, but you can gather it is really senseless. Mariela is safe and sound, but no one is really trying to get her home unless they can benefit from it directly. I cannot sleep anymore, I am physically and mentally sick, and I have had enough.
I am finishing the campaign today, and I quit. Even if I want my life back, I cannot have it back now that I know her.
Update: Ok, I am fine - running on little to no sleep, but fine. It has just gotten to the point where the lack of effort, communication, and the will to just get the job done is so poor. I have seen Mariela go from 3 months to 16 months in a blink of any eye (and all those other parents out there that have been in this same sinking ship, you know what I mean). I have turned day in and day out, all this negative energy into a centralized effort to keep campaigning for all the 2,000+ children still in Guatemala. But the lies are catching up with various people and when people see their last paycheck on the horizon, they can think of nothing better than trying to hold the one last thing they have - which happens to be a child. The people that we thought were trying so hard and working so quickly, have fallen short and seem to have other priorities.
July 2008 family photo
3 comments:
Dear Telissa, know of my prayers for you, Mariela and Juan. Keep your faith in God Telissa. Here are some scriptures that I hope will help you:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on him in truth. Psalm 145:18
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
He will not let your foot slip, He who watches over you will not slumber. Psalm 121:3
For God did not give us a spirit of timidy, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel shall save it. Mark 8:35
Also, here's a prayer I found yesterday, hope it helps you, it has helped me to give things over to God that are out of my human control, that just seem to hard to figure out or endure: Lord, we acknowledge our need for You to direct our lives. Thank you for giving us wisdom and peace when we turn to You for guidance. In Jesus' name, we pray Amen.
I hope none of that offends you Telissa, I felt very moved to pass that on to you. God bless! Sandi
I am so sad that things are not starting to look up yet! I continue to pray for you and Mariela by name. I love the scriptures that Sandi posted. They are very comforting for me as well.
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